Open Letter to my Baby

Dear Little One,

The internet is full of all these "open letters" right now... It's kind of an interesting concept where someone writes a letter to someone but shares it with the whole world. It's so like our culture to not be able to write a letter to just one person; we want the whole world to know that we did and validate our points. Anyway, this isn't a rant about open letters... quite the contrary clearly since I'm writing one!

I'm so sorry that I tend to ignore you except when you are making me feel uncomfortable. Even though that attention is becoming more frequent as you grow and explore, I still feel like this is a bad precedent for once you are out of the womb. Believe me when I say that one of the things I least want to do is only give you attention when you are misbehaving!

Your dad does such a great job talking to you and saying sweet things in a sweet voice while I just moan and complain when you're in a weird position or you're moving a ton when I want to sleep. Before you were moving this much, I was trying to learn some lullabies and sing them for you so you'd recognize them after birth. Now it's an accomplishment if I say anything nice to you or sing for you at all.

Please forgive me and know that this is not what I want for our relationship! Please understand that your mom is new to this. I've never had a child before; I've never been pregnant and had all these changes; I've never feared a relationship with someone more than I do with you. I don't want to mess this up. I want to do this job perfectly. BUT I know that I will mess and I will have to apologize often.

I fear taking care of an infant: you are so fragile and new... and impressionable. I recognize the great responsibility and fear it! I fear hurting you or giving you something before you're ready. I fear that I might unknowingly or accidentally encourage you in ways I do not intend: slurred speak, bad grammar, awkward walking, etc. I want you to grow up healthy, strong, brave, cautious, aware, curious, confident, eager, excitable, thoughtful, sensitive, respectful, creative, and God-fearing... but I don't know how to help you.

((GOD, please help me! ...and help my husband and all those around us who will guide and advise us! ...and help my baby!))

I love you already. Try to remember that, as I try to show it.

Love,
Your adoring mom

Spreading the Weirdness

This summer I returned to camp as a camp counselor again. It was an amazing experience. God truly worked; Satan was at work as well which was quite evident, but we did prevail through the Lord's strength! My campers were a great group of ladies this year and I love them dearly. They are a very unique bunch! :)

One night I shared with them about how I LOVE being called weird and told them the whole story behind it and explained that Weird is one of the biggest compliments one could give me! The girls thought it was a great story which explained so much about me. Later they called me weird intentionally as a compliment and I was so touched; they even started using it on each other.... So now the weirdness has spread around the world as my camperinos live out their crazy wonderful lives! :D I miss them so much and am so proud of them as they seek after Christ and His call in their lives.

Now I started a new relationship with a wonderful man of God. When he talked to my dad to ask for his blessing on our relationship, Dad recounted the story of telling me I'm a Weird Welch and of people being upset when I thanked them for the compliment. My boyfriend loved the story! It's great to be surrounded by people who love me for being me, even and especially in my weirdness! <3